Chapter 6

Pick Up the Leftover Grain

In obedience to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I stayed in the Gospel Church to learn how to serve and follow the Lord. The church provided boarding.  We ate the simplest food of rice and vegetables cooked in a caldron. For the New Year we could have a little salted fish, and that would be the most delicious food. Since I was used to the hard life on the mountain, I did not feel that this was hard at all. I never had to go out to buy any food supplies. I just studied the Bible and prayed wholeheartedly and interceded at midnight, just as I did on the mountain.

The pastor of that church assigned me to lead a small family fellowship every Tuesday. Usually there were about twenty people that came to the fellowship. The believers in Shanghai were used to the famous preachers and evangelists. How could they respect me, a no name missionary who was young and inexperienced? Therefore, those who came to the fellowship became less and less until there were only two or three people left. Whenever I led this fellowship, I was so scared and uncomfortable, I felt as if I had been to the cross. However, it was the Lord Who took me to Shanghai, and it was also the Lord Who arranged for me to be in such an environment, so that I could only obey. Even though it was not fruitful, I still kept on going. As to their despitefulness and scorn, I could only bear with it. I tried to go to Hong Kong and planned to go to Eastern Europe from there. It was not the right time, so I was not permitted to go. God had a different plan; He wanted to refine His instrument. Though I could not go forward, I was greatly welcomed back to the mountain. What attracted me more was that my mother had come down from the mountain to return to her mother town Kwanzhou to preach the gospel. She wrote to me again and again and asked me repeatedly to join her in working together. One sister who was overseas received her. Her house was quiet and beautiful and there was a garden and an arbor. She wrote: "When you lift up your head you can eat the fruit and when you look down, you can see the creek." How beautiful the scenery was! Besides, I could stay with my dear mother. "O Heavenly Father please let me go!" At night, God used a dream to answer me. In the dream, I was praying, "O God! Is it your will that I have no part at all in the worldly happiness?" Immediately, there was a vision shown before my eyes. Outside the window there were rosy clouds and the green trees that set each other off beautifully. "How beautiful it is!" I could not help but praise it. However, all of a sudden, the color of the sky turned darker and darker. Meanwhile, there were four words appearing: "The dusk is deepening." Immediately I understood that I should not long for the worldly beautiful scenery. The dreadful evening was approaching, and the Lord was at the door.

The Lord stopped me from going my own way and led me to walk in His destined will. Since then, every day I have served the Lord day and night to intercede behind the scenes just as the little Samuel.