Chapter 2

He Grants the Desire of My Heart - Enter the University

I studied in high school for a year, and then due to illness, I took a leave of absence for two years. The girls, who had been with me in the same class, now were graduating and going to take the entrance examination for the university. How I desired to go to the university, but I was reluctant to study in the same high school again. When my father heard that I was thinking of taking the entrance examination for the university, he had misgivings. He said: "Hello! Don't you always pray to Jesus? You could first ask Jesus whether it is His will that you should take the entrance examination. If it is His will, then you will certainly get in; if it is not His will then you should not take the exam. Why do you want to lose face? You must tell me His answer, so I can see whether the Jesus you believe is true or false." I went back to my room. I felt that it was not just my personal business, but it also concerned my father's salvation! If he thought that Jesus was not real, then he wouldn't believe in Jesus. Because of this I knelt before the Lord respectfully and asked Him to let me know whether He wanted me to take the entrance examination. How could I know His will? At that time I used two pieces of paper to serve as lots. On one piece of paper I wrote, "go," and on the other I wrote, "do not go." I prayed: "Lord, if it is your will, then let me take the lot "go" three times continuously." (At that time I did not know that Christians should not use this method in seeking God's will. We should wait for the Lord's instruction and guidance in God's words - the Bible and prayers. However, at that time my father was anxious to know my answer. God was merciful to me in my childishness.) Unexpectedly, for three consecutive times, I got the lot "go." When I went into the living room, my father asked me: "Well? Does Jesus want you to take the examination?" I could not answer him. I thought it would be awful if I failed. I went back to my room and sincerely prayed to the Lord again. "O Lord! If it is truly your will for me to take the entrance examination of the university, please let me get the lot "go" again so that I will have the courage to answer my father." Again I got the lot "go." It could not be a coincidence that this happened four times continuously. This must be the Lord's will. I went to my father immediately and told him: "It is Jesus' will that I should take the entrance examination of the university." He said: "Very well! I will see how you do it!"

After a few days, my father held a piece of newspaper, and he was laughing. He asked me to read it. The newspaper reported that this year the branch of Zejiang University would not be admitting any students as instructed by the main university. It would not admit any students this year, just when I was going to take the examination! My father could not stop laughing, and he said: "Since Jesus wants you to take the entrance examination of the university, then why will the university not admit any students?" All of a sudden, I was dumb as a wooden chicken. During that time, due to the war between China and Japan, the transportation was very inconvenient. If there was an examination taking place locally, then it was possible to take it. If I needed to take the examination elsewhere, it would be difficult. It seemed that my desire to take the examination for the university was hopeless. I did not understand why it seemed that the Lord was joking with me. But in STREAMS IN THE DESERT I read that if what we encountered seemed against what God promised us, this was so because God wanted our faith to be proved. If we held on to our faith till the end, we would see the faithfulness and glory of God. This passage gave me a little comfort.

After some time, three high school girl classmates of mine came to tell me that they planned to go to Shunrau in Jiangxi to take an entrance examination jointly organized by four universities. They would like to ask my father the favor of giving them a lift in the car belonging to his bank. I passed the request to my father and I pleaded with him to let me go with them to take that examination. My father answered: "Forget about it! It is sure that you will fail. Why do you have to go? In fact, I could have sent a sedan for you to go there, but you will fail and people will laugh at you. If you do not feel embarrassed for yourself, I will." I ignored what he said and went with them to Shunrau. We lived in the house of a bank manager, Mr. Chen. Four of us lived in two rooms. How well prepared the three girls were. They had passed through numerous quizzes, tests, graduation examination, and joint examinations. In addition, they were among the best of the successful candidates for all these tests. They had thick piles of outlines for the examination, and they could memorize them from beginning to end. When I saw this I was almost disheartened. As I considered the fact that I attended only one third of high school, I wondered how I could catch up with them. Again I prayed: "O Lord! I can only try my best to prepare; the rest will all depend on You to help me. Ordinarily I was afraid of math, so I totally gave up the preparation of advanced algebra and analytical geometry that I had never studied before. I carefully reviewed once what I learned in the first year of high school, the plane geometry, algebra and trigonometry. The first subject of the examination was math. There were five extremely hard questions. I only answered one question about geometry, and did not even write one word for the other four questions. After we finished, and as soon as the four of us were all together, the girls said, "Oh no! We got a score of zero for the first subject." They had done none of these questions, but they all did better than I did for the latter part of the examination. After I came back from Jiangxi, I waited every day for the notice from school. I had been told that there would be a red seal on the envelope of those who were to be admitted. For those who were not admitted, there would be a blue seal. A male classmate suggested that I ask my father to write a letter to the principal of Ginan University, a university of our will, so we would be admitted to the university of our choice. At that time, my father was the chairman of the board of a bank. Sometimes universities would ask favor of him of letting their graduates work in the bank as clerks. I thought this idea was excellent. However, just at this very moment the newspapers were reporting that the dean of the Hin Shi University had helped a female student cheat on the entrance examination. It was such a scandal that he was under investigation. My father was a person who was most concerned about saving his reputation. He flatly refused and asked me to not vainly hope that he would plead for me. He also said that I was so young that I need not be anxious to go to university; and that I could wait until the Japanese surrendered. Then when we returned to Shanghai, just by one word of his I could be admitted into any missionary university. I knew it very well that in fact he did not think much of a girl receiving a higher education. So I could only give up this idea and solely look upon the Lord and pray. In the meantime, the notices were received one after another. Two of the classmates received rejection notes with blue seals. Another was living at my house to wait for her notice, because she did not want her stepmother to know that she had taken the entrance examination. The morning that she received a letter with a blue seal, she sat on a chair and burst into tears. I felt downcast. At dusk a servant gave me a letter. I was so nervous that my heart went pit-a-pat. I looked at the envelope. A red seal! In the letter, it stated that my test score was not good and I was barely admitted as a "quasi-student," however I could register. According to the school system at that time, a quasi-student could be a formal one if one could catch up in school. Otherwise, one would be eliminated. That evening my father set firecrackers to celebrate for me. It was a pity that at that time I neither understood that this was all God's grace, nor did I give all the glory to the Lord. I only remained perplexed and wondered why three classmates were not admitted while I was. After some time, I read from the newspaper a bold headline: "Why is this year's math test of joint entrance examinations so hard?" After the reporter conducted an interview, everything was clear. In the past, the Ginan University had always given the math questions of the joint examinations and they had always been very easy. Therefore, people had been laughing at the Ginan University for its low level. Because of this the University made a determined effort to give five hard questions. As a result half of the people got zero for their math score. According to the school system, one could not be admitted with a score of zero for any subject. This made me understand why I was admitted. The three girls did better than I did on every subject, but they got a zero in math. I was deficient in every subject, but I did not get a zero for anything.

Later on, the newspaper reported that the branch of Zeijiang University received a notice from the main university that it could admit a few students. My three classmates and I all went to take the examination again. They all got in and I was still admitted as a quasi-student. By then, due to the surrender of Japan, all the schools and government offices in the inner land were moving back to the city. The branch of Zeijian University moved back to Hangzhou to combine with the main university. I also followed my family to Hangzhou and finished college in the main university.